The Root of All Evil
Two years ago, I sold the house I used to live in with Danny and the girls. We had bought it 10 years earlier and made a pretty penny on it. I put whatever profit I made down on the townhouse the girls and I live in now. I've been reading a lot lately about these people who took out sub-prime loans a couple of years ago with adjustable rates that are all of a sudden jumping from 6% to 10% and I thought to myself how terrible for those poor people. They were probably trotting along nicely making the payment to the man every month, when all of a sudden their mortgage goes from manageable to foreclosed upon. That was until I opened my mail last week (for those of you who have read prior posts, yes, me opening my mail is a new phenomenon) only to find that I am one of those poor people. I must not have read too carefully before I signed on the dotted line, because I sure was surprised to learn that effective July 1, 2007, my mortgage rate is going up to 10.74%.
As I sit here typing this, there is bile in my throat. I feel as though I might throw up. I could actually lose my house - the only thing I own - the only security that I have for my daughters. I can barely pay for it as it is, so I can't imagine how I'm supposed to come up with $300 more a month toward interest. Fred keeps telling me not to worry; that he will help me and that I can refinance, but right now, I can't see it. I'm so overwhelmed I just want to cry. To add insult to injury, the refinancing isn't going to be so easy because my credit is shit. The company who holds my mortgage now won't touch me which leaves me with yet another sub-prime loan which, if I can even get, I am going to end up paying for dearly. I'm so fucking mad at myself I could spit. Mad that I let my credit get so bad. Mad that I got myself into this situation. Mad at Fred for insisting that "everything is going to be ok." Its not ok. Period. Whether it will be ok later is beside the point. Right now its not ok and I'm not ok, and damn him for not understanding that.
As I sit here typing this, there is bile in my throat. I feel as though I might throw up. I could actually lose my house - the only thing I own - the only security that I have for my daughters. I can barely pay for it as it is, so I can't imagine how I'm supposed to come up with $300 more a month toward interest. Fred keeps telling me not to worry; that he will help me and that I can refinance, but right now, I can't see it. I'm so overwhelmed I just want to cry. To add insult to injury, the refinancing isn't going to be so easy because my credit is shit. The company who holds my mortgage now won't touch me which leaves me with yet another sub-prime loan which, if I can even get, I am going to end up paying for dearly. I'm so fucking mad at myself I could spit. Mad that I let my credit get so bad. Mad that I got myself into this situation. Mad at Fred for insisting that "everything is going to be ok." Its not ok. Period. Whether it will be ok later is beside the point. Right now its not ok and I'm not ok, and damn him for not understanding that.
posted by Eatapeach | 6:45 PM
5 Comments:
Be strong Milfy. Fred is a good person. And, you can't kick yourself for your past. Deal with it.
Two phrases of advice:
1: "It could be worse." (my mom always says that)
2: "The true character of a person is not shown when times are going good, but how they face adversity with grace."
I know you have it in you. :)
You made me smile, A. Thanks.
I'm glad :)
$300 more per month will be mostly interest, which is tax deductible. Therefore make sure to adjust your payroll withholding, so that less taxes are withheld. Will help the cash flow somewhat.
Hi Peach. Haven't been here forever and thought of you as I re-posted something you'd commented on. I know squat aboutloans etc. but $300 seems like a big increase. Hope it works out in the wash type thing.
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